The wbole Manti Te'o story brought to mind my erstwhile internet boyfriend, Vladimir from Ukraine. Even though Manti Te'o, like everyone who has a long-distance girlfriend no one has ever met, is "far from gay," the experience of falling in love with someone you've only met online is totally universal.
Let me take you way back to 2003... This was before Facebook and Skype. We didn't have any gay-dating blogs to give us advice. Vladimir and I courted the old-fashioned way: he answered my ad on Gay.com and we emailed each other. Unfortunately, I lost our initial email exchange, but I think it was fairly perfunctory. The email from Vladimir titled "Our great friendship" was the highpoint of our relationship. In it, he seems completely real and not at all like a scam artist trying to fleece American gays. This is, sadly, the last I heard from my Ukrainian boyfriend--I hope he didn't die of the cancer.
FYI: While I have highlighted some of my favorite passages, this email including the picture is exactly as I received it, complete and unedited.
From: Knight Lance vk452@uzhe.net
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2003 23:02:34 +0400
To: cjhogan
Subject: Our great friendship!
Dearest Chris,
Thank you very much for interesting reply. I am glad that we understand each other, although many miles divide us. I wish I could communicate with you "Live"!
Unfortunately it is impossible for me to use either chat-rooms or messengers here, that's why I try to write you more detailed every time. Because I have a lot to tell you about me, but my resources are limited so I can't visit the Internet access more often! However I am very glad that we are in touch and our friendship develops.
I also would like if you send me something special: your autograph or postcard with your hand-written words, because I want to keep it close to me, to carry it with me and to feel your presence in my life constantly!
As for me I have also found something very special to send for you. It will be surprise! As soon as I'll save enough for postage I'll mail this small souvenir of mine to you immediately! But it's a bit of very special thing...
Here is my hostel address: Vladimir Kiriyazi, Kikvidze 30, k.37, 01103 Kiev, Ukraine. It is only very pity that the parcel goes from here to the States in 4-6 weeks, but anyway it comes one day!
Also if you only can, please send me any information about your Great Country - for instance USA Constitution. Because here we don't have a lot of information from and about America.
Everything is censored and always very negative. I realize that there are a lot of information in the World wide web, but as my access to it is limited, let's rather use Internet for our communication.
I am really glad to find you and to be able to share my thoughts and hopes with you! I never had a man to talk about my gay feelings. I am so glad that I can write you about them - there is nobody closer to me to share them. I am feeling quite lonely in this sense.
Although thanks my job I am constantly among simple and very sincere, direct and honest people - house-builders, and that's why I don't feel the loneliness deeply. But in my intimate sphere I am very undercover and in closet (not out to them at all).
I am very new to men's love. Living in Bakhmach, very small provincial town, I haven't seen any gay men. And I wanted to meet a man for physical love. However it wasn't possible.
For the first time I had sex with a guy in Kiev, after I moved here to study. He was one of the pupils in our professional school. We made love on regular basis then. But we didn't talk about it, and he had contacts with girls as well.
Than I have had several occasional moments in the army and later. But I never had a man to talk about homosexuality, it was just simple sex without any communication. All the time it was just sex. Frankly it was hurting for me - I think that I am really more emotional person who need spiritual bound more than sexual.
That's why I assume that my sexual life was poor. And now it is below zero at all. Because I don't want to repeat it that way as it was all the time before!
I don't like it that way.
I would rather prefer to meet a partner with serious attitudes for gay way of living and share my life with him. I am missing monogamous 1to1 relationship built on true deep feelings of love and devotion. I am versatile and 8" endowed (uncut) by the way, however for true love this doesn't matter as for me.
My family doesn't know anything about my preferences. In the Ukraine it is strongly notorious to be gay.
I must be discrete and keep the secret for me. I'll lose my job if it comes out! I am also not sure that my family will accept my orientation. It is difficult to imagine.
Once I had sex with my job colleague who is definitely older than I am. He is married and has a child - however his family lives away from Kiev.
It happened suddenly on Easter evening in our hostel. Well, it was great with him. Pity, he never repeated it again. As that event happened I like a mature man more than the guys of my age.
But my main wish is to be happy with a Man I love. And this is very difficult to reach in my country. I hope it is not such difficult in your country for two men to live together. Here it is almost impossible. Our people have very traditionalistic views as for the gay love.
Please write me what you can advice me in my situation. Maybe we could meet in the future, if there will be the possibility for it. But even we'll never meet - it is great to have such friend like you for me anyway!
Affectionately,
Vladimir
Let me take you way back to 2003... This was before Facebook and Skype. We didn't have any gay-dating blogs to give us advice. Vladimir and I courted the old-fashioned way: he answered my ad on Gay.com and we emailed each other. Unfortunately, I lost our initial email exchange, but I think it was fairly perfunctory. The email from Vladimir titled "Our great friendship" was the highpoint of our relationship. In it, he seems completely real and not at all like a scam artist trying to fleece American gays. This is, sadly, the last I heard from my Ukrainian boyfriend--I hope he didn't die of the cancer.
FYI: While I have highlighted some of my favorite passages, this email including the picture is exactly as I received it, complete and unedited.
From: Knight Lance vk452@uzhe.net
Date: Fri, 22 Aug 2003 23:02:34 +0400
To: cjhogan
Subject: Our great friendship!
Dearest Chris,
Thank you very much for interesting reply. I am glad that we understand each other, although many miles divide us. I wish I could communicate with you "Live"!
Unfortunately it is impossible for me to use either chat-rooms or messengers here, that's why I try to write you more detailed every time. Because I have a lot to tell you about me, but my resources are limited so I can't visit the Internet access more often! However I am very glad that we are in touch and our friendship develops.
I also would like if you send me something special: your autograph or postcard with your hand-written words, because I want to keep it close to me, to carry it with me and to feel your presence in my life constantly!
As for me I have also found something very special to send for you. It will be surprise! As soon as I'll save enough for postage I'll mail this small souvenir of mine to you immediately! But it's a bit of very special thing...
Here is my hostel address: Vladimir Kiriyazi, Kikvidze 30, k.37, 01103 Kiev, Ukraine. It is only very pity that the parcel goes from here to the States in 4-6 weeks, but anyway it comes one day!
Also if you only can, please send me any information about your Great Country - for instance USA Constitution. Because here we don't have a lot of information from and about America.
Everything is censored and always very negative. I realize that there are a lot of information in the World wide web, but as my access to it is limited, let's rather use Internet for our communication.
I am really glad to find you and to be able to share my thoughts and hopes with you! I never had a man to talk about my gay feelings. I am so glad that I can write you about them - there is nobody closer to me to share them. I am feeling quite lonely in this sense.
Although thanks my job I am constantly among simple and very sincere, direct and honest people - house-builders, and that's why I don't feel the loneliness deeply. But in my intimate sphere I am very undercover and in closet (not out to them at all).
I am very new to men's love. Living in Bakhmach, very small provincial town, I haven't seen any gay men. And I wanted to meet a man for physical love. However it wasn't possible.
For the first time I had sex with a guy in Kiev, after I moved here to study. He was one of the pupils in our professional school. We made love on regular basis then. But we didn't talk about it, and he had contacts with girls as well.
Than I have had several occasional moments in the army and later. But I never had a man to talk about homosexuality, it was just simple sex without any communication. All the time it was just sex. Frankly it was hurting for me - I think that I am really more emotional person who need spiritual bound more than sexual.
That's why I assume that my sexual life was poor. And now it is below zero at all. Because I don't want to repeat it that way as it was all the time before!
I don't like it that way.
I would rather prefer to meet a partner with serious attitudes for gay way of living and share my life with him. I am missing monogamous 1to1 relationship built on true deep feelings of love and devotion. I am versatile and 8" endowed (uncut) by the way, however for true love this doesn't matter as for me.
My family doesn't know anything about my preferences. In the Ukraine it is strongly notorious to be gay.
I must be discrete and keep the secret for me. I'll lose my job if it comes out! I am also not sure that my family will accept my orientation. It is difficult to imagine.
Once I had sex with my job colleague who is definitely older than I am. He is married and has a child - however his family lives away from Kiev.
It happened suddenly on Easter evening in our hostel. Well, it was great with him. Pity, he never repeated it again. As that event happened I like a mature man more than the guys of my age.
But my main wish is to be happy with a Man I love. And this is very difficult to reach in my country. I hope it is not such difficult in your country for two men to live together. Here it is almost impossible. Our people have very traditionalistic views as for the gay love.
Please write me what you can advice me in my situation. Maybe we could meet in the future, if there will be the possibility for it. But even we'll never meet - it is great to have such friend like you for me anyway!
Affectionately,
Vladimir
No comments:
Post a Comment