Sunday, March 30, 2014

Team Koko 2014

Baseball begins today*, so it's time to introduce the 2014 Team Koko line up. Last year, we took second in the Mark Bar fantasy league, and this year, we plan to win it all. PLAY BALL!
  
NB: This is not my All-Star Team. The selection process for that is very different since I'm not competing against other in a draft and so am free to pick (or not pick) at will. Also, I can be more idealistic and less pragmatic for the All-Star picks and, not take players from teams I hate (such as The Team That Shall Not Be Named) no matter how good they are.
 

Derek Jeter, Shortstop, NY Yankees
Anyone who didn't think I would draft The Captain in his last season should just stop reading now.
Mike Trout, Outfield, LA Angels
I hear this kid is pretty good.

Jonathan Lucroy, Catcher, Milwaukee Brewers
The first of many beards on the team. I'm convinced that MLB has a stealth marketing campaign to the Bear Community
.
Adrian Gonzalez, 1st Base, L.A. Dodgers

Jason Kipnis, 2nd Base, Cleveland Indians
Fielding doesn't count in our league, but I love this picture.
Pedro Alvarez, 3rd Base, Pittsburgh Pirates

Shin-Soo Choo, Outfield, Texas Rangers
Someone should write a dissertation on this picture and the, um, "problematic" racial issues in MLB it represents.
Jayson Werth, Outfield, Washington Nationals
Jayson seems to be under the mistaken impression that he plays for a Williamsburg, Brooklyn kickball team.

Alfonso Soriano, Outfield, NY Yankees
*sigh*
Nelson Cruz, Outfield, Baltimore Orioles

Billy Butler, DH/Utility, KC Royals
I have a soft spot for Billy Butler, but he wasn't the most practical pick since he can only play "utility" in our league and not cover other positions. In other words, don't get too attached to him.
José Reyes, Shortstop, Toronto Blue Jays
The Amish-style beard is an interesting choice.

Miguel Montero, Catcher, Arizona Diamondbacks
It's always good to have two catchers on a fantasy team, and he was the best one still available late in the draft. I'm happy I chose him now that I've seen this pic.

Adam Wainwright, Starting Pitcher, St. Louis Cardinals
I wish I had more Cardinals on my team, but if I have to have only one, this is the one I want.
Yovani Gallardo, Starting Pitcher, Milwaukee Brewers
What a cool and adorable family.

Mike Minor, Starting Pitcher, Atlanta Braves
R.A. Dickey, Starting Pitcher, Toronto Blue Jays
One word: KNUCKLEBALL.
Dan Straily, Starting Pitcher, Oakland A's
I love the diversity of MLB. Here's a GINGER beard.
Zack Greinke, Starting Pitcher, LA Dodgers
Hi, Zack K!
Zach Wheeler, Starting Pitcher, NY Mets
Hi, Zach H!
(A little inside joke for Kids In The Hall fans.)
Jason Grilli, Relief Pitcher, Pittsburgh Pirates
Werq that mullet! I think Jason secretly wishes he played hockey.
Joe Nathan, Relief Pitcher, Detroit Tigers
I have been accused of letting The Little Manager make my decisions (if you know what I mean), but Joe here is proof that is not the case. He's not a bad looking guy, but he is doing everything in his power to make himself look unattractive. Still, even with the awful chin scruff to the douchey shirt to the just plain stupid necklace, he's on Team Koko.
Huston Street, Relief Pitcher, San Diego Padres
Then again, sometimes The Little Manager makes some good picks.
John Lackey, Starting Pitcher, The Evil Empire
UGH. Sometimes baseball is a dirty game that forces us to lie down with dogs.
*I don't count the first two "official" games because Australia.