Jodie Foster Comes Out & LGBT Bloggers Have A LOT To Say

As predicted, Jodie Foster's confusing, quasi-coming-out speech at The Golden Globes was the topic in the LGBT blogosphere today What do people think? Well... it's complicated.

 

Tom & Lorenzo summed up the experience many us had watching the the whole cray-crayness unfold:

While the press and a whole bunch of other writers seem to be a bit confused as to what, exactly, happened, we think congratulations and back pats are in order. Yes, the whole world pretty much knew Jodie was gay and yes, she danced around the subject in the past, and yes, for the pedantic people in the room, it’s true; she didn’t actually utter the words, “I’m gay.” But she didn’t have to. Instead she offered up a rambling, emotional, exhilarating rant that laid bare her soul and her life to a roomful of people and a camera full of the world. It was awkward and funny, cringe-inducing and uplifting. Sloppy and real. And when it was over, we sat there, stunned and open-mouthed, until Tom finally managed the words, “Good. For. HER.”

Oh, and even before you dropped that little bomb on the room, we thought your dress was pretty damn fierce.

Andrew Belonsky at Towelroad is glad the wait is over:

Well aware that people have been waiting for this moment for years, Foster explained that her delay wasn't based in shame, but in the fact that she came of age when there was a larger premium on privacy ...But, standing up on that stage, poised and proud, Foster finally did the deed - and, as always, she did it her way. And we couldn't be more happy for her!

Michelangelo Signorile provides a little history at HuffPo:

Jodie Foster's sexual orientation has been discussed since the '80s, when her face was plastered on "Absolutely Queer" posters pasted by activists all over the streets of major cities. I discussed the rumors in my column in OutWeek magazine at the time, when queer activists charged that Foster's 1991 film The Silence of the Lambs was homophobic -- and, by today's more precise definition, transphobic -- and asked what responsibility a closeted gay star should have when it comes to anti-gay depictions in his or her own films. But for decades Foster steadfastly refused to discuss it, even in recent years as she made references to her former partner.

In the end, Signorile thinks Foster's coming out is one sign of how much queer activism has accomplished in the last few decades:

But whatever you thought of last night, you'd have to agree that it was another indication of how it's becoming harder and harder for anyone in public life to have any real credibility and still be living in the closet. Personally, I don't care if people like Jodie Foster are bitter or annoyed at activists. It's the job of activists to challenge people and, yes, to annoy people. What I care about is that the repressive and suffocating gay closet not be seen as a good place even if it is still the only safe choice for many. The only reason that millions are still in the closet is that society forces them there under threat of punishment. But things get easier for all those millions of closeted individuals when Hollywood celebrities and media figures come out. And more and more, it appears that it's becoming their responsibility, as privileged members of society, to do so.

At Autostraddle, actress Haviland Stillwell explains the particular importance of Jodie Foster to many lesbians in the industry:

For many of us, Jodie Foster was THE example of a gay woman who was really "making it" in Hollywood – but of course, the caveat was the reminder of, "Yeah… but she's not out." So we danced this line of "public vs private" and learned from birth that acting on instinct was not, in fact, always encouraged. But I am here to say that acting on instinct and being open about LOVE is a very positive thing – and it radiates outward. It’s important.

I can only imagine to be the kind of public figure Jodie Foster is and has been, for her entire life, everything she said about the need for privacy was 100% understandable, and I believe we will get to the point where “coming out” is unnecessary. We will get to the point where no one will assume someone is straight at birth. We will not need to have “gay role models” because we’ll just have role models.

John Aravosis at AMERICAblog is sympathetic to Foster's desire to stay out of the poisonous trap of celebrity culture, but wishes she had been more gracious to the LGBT community.

I think the immediately chorus of confusion and criticism I saw from my gay friends and colleagues online, in response to Foster’s speech, were justified. Scold the paparazzi who want you to come out because they’re bloodsuckers. Don’t scold your own community who has learned over the years that the best way we have of securing our civil rights, and saving gay kids who are at far too high a risk of suicide (and bullying), is by giving them role-models, and giving society yet another “she’s gay? I like her.”

I’ve had a…. what do you call a man-crush a gay guy has for a lesbian?… for Jodie Foster since I was a kid.  So maybe I’m just prone to giving her a break.  I do think that she was somewhat “off” tonight at the Golden Globes.  Maybe someone pestered her about coming out right before the awards.  Who knows.  And I can respect the overwhelming desire for privacy from any movie star, especially one who has sought it since the age of 3.  I just think that perhaps she could have responded, to the legitimate desire of the gay community to publicly welcome her into the fold, with something less than a scold.

Deb Baer at HuffPo is PISSED:

Why am I so angry? Because I'm roughly the same age as Jodie, and yet I had the courage to come out exactly 20 years ago. This was before Glee and Modern Family and Will & Grace -- and even Ellen DeGeneres' historical and culture-changing pronouncement. I, and so very many others, took a leap of faith and dealt with the consequences. Sure, I wasn't worried about losing $20 million a picture, but it's all relative: I feared that family and friends would abandon me, that I'd get passed over for jobs and promotions, that I'd be the victim of violence, and all the other clichés from the after-school specials.

And by the way, some of that stuff happened....

But back to Jodie. She blamed publicly remaining in the closet all these years -- even with a long-term partner and two children -- on that whiny excuse that so many celebrities use: "privacy." Sorry, but there are a lot of "private" stars who don't do a lot of press and don't talk about their personal lives, like Daniel Day-Lewis and Johnny Depp, but we know basic facts about them, such as whom they are married to. The "privacy" excuse is just that: an excuse.

Nobody was asking Jodie to be president of the gays.

Leah McElrath praises Foster for being a role model for the modern family:

I greatly appreciated Ms. Foster taking the time to honor her ex-partner and co-parent for the emotional support she has provided her through the years. Rather than critique her for “rambling”, I celebrate Ms. Foster for providing a role model of how to acknowledge that our most intimate relationships are substantial and life-altering, even after they transition. I know that my ex-partner and I aspire to do this – but it’s not easy. It takes work. It takes integrity. It takes commitment to the goal of doing so. It isn’t something that comes naturally for most people.

Over at Pam's House Blend, the always sensible and smart Pam Spaulding first points out that Jodie Foster is understandably fiercely protective of her privacy given her unique past--"how many people have had to contend with a man who tried to assassinate the President of the United States over an obsession with them?" She then goes on to question Hollywood culture and the media's role in maintaining the "glass closet":

My question is whether, even with so many public figures coming out, the media will really stop reporting with the closet in mind — the double standard that results in reporters inquiring on all sorts of levels about personal lives and relationships of hetero celebs, but studiously avoid asking socially out, but professionally questionably closeted people about the mundane same aspects of their lives. Hollywood still seems to be a place very conflicted about its public and private image when it comes to disclosing sexual orientation — that projects and career successes are tied to the illusion of straightness as something that must be maintained, or that something is “too gay” to be commercial or credible (see ‘Behind The Candelabra,’ Liberace Movie With Michael Douglas And Matt Damon, Deemed ‘Too Gay’ By Studios).

"Jodie Foster Stops Lying" is what Andrew Sullivan titled his post on The Dish. As you can imagine, he is having none of Jodie Foster's, in his words, "unadulterated bullshit."

"How beautiful it once was"? When gay people were put in jail, or mental institutions, or thrown out of their families - all because of the "beauty" of privacy for Hollywood royalty like Foster? And she honestly believes it's courageous to come out in a retirement speech? Well I guess we should be relieved she didn't leave it for her obit.

Finally, as in most things, I think Mx Justin Vivian Bond provides the best analysis--even while drunk. (You also get bonus thoughts on the NRA and the relationship between fish and eye shadow in this vlog post):

So... We're welcoming Jodie Foster to the LGBT community with both open arms and the middle finger. 

UPDATE

Karen Ocamb explained why she found Jodie Foster's speech "infuriating" at The Bilerico Project. Ocamb expands the story of Jodie Foster's fisrt public coming out:

...In the early 1990s, [Jodie Foster] helped her best friend Randy Stone and co-producer Peggy Rajski make the 1994 Oscar-winning short film Trevor - which was re-made for HBO in 1998 and was ironically introduced by newly out Ellen DeGeneres. And in 2007, the same year Randy Stone died of heart disease, she contributed another huge chunk of change to The Trevor Project, the largest in the organization's history. I met her then, on the rope line. She seemed quintessentially sophisticated Hollywood - posing for pictures and seemingly accessible but inscrutable when asked questions. Foster said in a statement:

“I feel so lucky to have had a best friend like Randy Stone, the funniest guy I’ve ever known. He was talented, passionate, supportive, and as big as life. He brought all his beautiful energy to The Trevor Project, which has done such meaningful work on behalf of gay and questioning youths. The call center campaign’s impact will continue the Trevor mission in Randy’s honor just as he would have wanted. I am proud to continue my support of Trevor in memory of my dearest friend. He is missed.”

Some of us wondered if that trip to the Trevor Project event was the impetus for coming out of the closet later that December when she accepted an award at the 16th annual Women in Entertainment Power 100 breakfast, during which she said: "I'm not sure I've managed to deserve the family and friends that surrounds me ... [including] my beautiful Cydney who sticks with me through the rotten and the bliss."

Fast forward five years to Jodie Foster's much discussed (second) coming out at last Sunday's Golden Globes. Ocamb unpacks the speech point-by-point (go read the whole analysis here--it's excellent), and concludes by bringing the story full circle:

To me, her most deeply personal, "confessional" remark was: "I want to be seen, to be understood deeply and to be not so very lonely."

That is the cry of all of humanity, something that the wealthy superstars at the Beverly Hilton Hotel and the poor, at risk LGBT kids somewhere in a dark room crying can understand. And that is why I found Jodie Foster's Golden Globe speech so infuriating: she knows this! And yet she apparently chooses to side with the angry self-centeredness of Mel Gibson rather than the loving humanity of Randy Stone. Yes, she has a right to do and say what she wants and to come out as she wishes. But she also has it in her to be bigger than that, to contribute what she knows about loneliness and hurt to benefit others - to benefit kids without the love of friends and family and she choose this award show where she could have reached millions to obfuscate, once again. The nugget of meaning I took from this Golden Globe: talent and brains don't mean you prize humanity.

 Matthew Breen, the editor-in-chief of The Advocate, looks at "Why Jodie Foster Left Us Deeply Conflicted":

Everyone should come out in her own time, but Foster was angry last night. One reason could be embarrassment at not having come out publicly (at least in her own estimation) until 2013. Last night’s speech clearly took a lot of guts for Foster to undertake. But too much anger was directed at a straw man of her own creation. ....By referencing Honey Boo Boo, a stand-in for all that is shamelessly confessional about celebrity in 2013, Foster’s implication was that the choices she faces as a public figure are few: (1) stay closeted, never acknowledge your sexual orientation in public, or (2) tell the world every sordid detail of your intimate life. That’s a bogus comparison, and it’s one that reinforces the idea that being LGBT is shameful, worthy of being hidden, and that saying you’re LGBT is an invitation to the whole world to come into your bedroom. That’s patently wrong. There are numerous out celebrities who guard their personal lives: David Hyde Pierce, Anna Paquin, Zachary Quinto, Amber Heard, Anderson Cooper, just to name a few.

....This speech had me deeply confused and conflicted. On the one hand, not everyone can or wants to be an advocate for LGBT rights. We cannot expect every smart, able celebrity to fly the flag and shout from the rooftops. Yet Jodie Foster is so smart, so capable, so worthy of respect as an actor, a filmmaker, and a feminist that I can’t help having wanted her to say, “I’m a lesbian, and there’s nothing wrong or shameful about it.”

I'll leave it there, as conflicted as we were at the beginning, but also, thanks to working through it together, much less confused.