Happy Birthday, Dolly Parton!

You are a country music legend.

You proved you can be super girlie and still be smart, strong and independent.

While you're not a lesbian and you somehow lost a Dolly Parton look-alike drag queen contest, you are still an inspiration to gay boys everywhere.

But really, how could you possibly have lost a drag queen contest?

Of course, "I Will Always Love You" gets all the attention (and made you filthy rich), but so many of the 3,000(!) songs you've written are fabulous. This one is my favorite--
if I'm drunk enough, I'll sing it at karaoke.

Finally, thanks for recording the the greatest cover version of any song ever.

Dolly, for these reasons and so many, many more, WE LOVE YOU!