1. The performance by Seth MacFarlane, Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt was a good start to the show, but it a song and dance number isn't the kind of threesome the gays want from them.
2 .Having Dame Shirley Bassey sing is pretty gay, but it would have been gayer if she sang this:
3. The gays love Channing Tatum, so having him dance on the Oscars was good; however him stripping would have been much better:
4. If you're going to put Captain Kirk in a time machine to right an Academy Awards wrong, send him to 2006 to take the Oscar away from the loathsome Crash and give it to the actual best picture of that year, Brokeback Mountain.
5. If you're going to have Kristin Chenoweth sing to losers, any gay would know to have her sing this song:
Next year, the Oscars producers should call me before the show, and I'll help them reach that gay audience that has been so elusive to them.
PS: In the future, some gays, I nominate Tom & Lorenzo, should be posted so they can run up and slap any winners who walk on stage looking like this:
Quentin Tarantino, I don't care how cool you think you are--you should have your Oscar taken away from your for crimes against fashion.
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