WBC vs NFL

The evil Westboro Baptist Church of "God Hates Fags" infamy has decided pro football is taking the United States straight to Hell in a homosexual hand basket.

I'd like to congratulate the individuals targeted by Margie Phelps of the WBC.

@brendon301 is Brendon Ayanbadejo, a linebacker for the Baltimore Ravens. He has been a very vocal Marriage Equality advocate--especially in the recent Maryland ballot initiative. Ayanbadejo also likes to post shirtless pictures of himself which the gays definitely appreciate.

@scottfujita99 is Scott Fujita, is a linebacker for the Cleveland Browns. He has also been a very outspoken advocate for LGBT rights--especially marriage. Who knew linebacker would turn out to be the big pro-gay position in football?

@hudsonism is Hudson Taylor. Here's the funny thing, while Taylor is an athlete and an ally of the LGBT community--in fact he started an organization, Athlete Ally, which works to promote LGBT inclusion and support in sports. However, he is not a football player. He is a wrestler. Oh well, if the Westboro Baptist Church is so wrong about the bible which is supposed to be their area of expertise, they can hardly be expected to get sports facts right.

My biggest problem with the WBC attack on the NFL is that they excluded Chris Kluwe. He's on the Twitter @ChrisWarcraft. He plays professional football as a punter for the Minnesota Vikings. Most importantly, he's arguably the most visible advocate for Marriage Equality in the NFL. He wrote the famous "Lustful Cockmonster" letter. He's been on The Colbert Report and The Ellen Degeneres Show talking about how much he loves the gays. Kluwe did a podcast with Outsports, a website that mixes sports and homosexuality into one big sinful stew. He even posed shirtless

Chris Kluwe On Ellen

The Chris Kluwe Adorable Tour continues. Next stop, The Ellen Degeneres Show. Kluwe is clearly beginning to plant seeds for some sort of media career after retiring from the NFL--which is smart. However, He's not overselling himself. If anything, he's underselling himself. He didn't even mention he has a book coming out this summer with the genius title Beautifully Unique Sparkleponies.

Still, Kluwe gives a great interview--he's great at adapting his style a bit to make it appropriate to the audience while remaining true to himself. Also, after his fashion disaster on The Colbert Report, someone--either his wife or a gay--got a hold of him and got him to dress better. Don't get me wrong, he hasn't become a Beau Brummel, but this is a huge improvement over a stocking cap and flip-flops. Now, if we could just get someone to do something about his hair...

The only disappointment the interview was the even after complimenting Chris Kluwe on his shirtless photos for Out Magazine, Ellen didn't get him to take off his shirt on air. It's worth noting that for a lesbian, she seems to really like having guys take their shirts off on her show--

Chris Kluwe On The Colbert Report

Someone once asked my sister, "What would do you think your mother would say if you were on the Tonight Show?" Without missing a beat, my sister replied, "I don't like what she's wearing."
Well, my crush, Chris Kluwe, gave a great, smart, funny interview on The Colbert Report...

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...and my first thought was: He wore a stocking cap and flip-flops on national television?! I've come to grudgingly accept that some men no longer dress up for late-night television interviews, so I can live with (not like, but live with) the jeans and t-shirt; however, it is simply never acceptable to wear a ski hat and beach footwear at the same time. Keep in mind this was taped in January in New York City, so the flip-flops are doubly inappropriate. Maybe he's worried that people question his sexuality because he's such a vocal supporter of Marriage Equality, so he wore an outfit no self-respecting gay would be caught dead in.

Still, I can't stay mad at Kluwe for long because he introduced the phrases "lustful cockmonster"  and "beautifully unique sparkle pony" into the national debate on Marriage Equality.

My Pick In The Vikings Vs Packers Playoff Game

Who should I root for in the NFC wild card game? I've been a Green Bay Packers fan for the last five or six years, but I couldn't be called a die-hard. I was a Minnesota Vikings fan when I was growing up, and perhaps I should give them my loyalty again now that I am living in St. Paul. Before I cheer for either, I need to weigh the evidence. Anyone who has discussed sports with me will tell you that I take a lot into consideration in choosing favorites. Here's my score card.

Round 1: The Quarterbacks. Who Is Hotter? The 2012 Stats

Aaron Rodgers
Passer Rating: 108.0
Yards: 4,295
Touchdowns: 39
Completion Percentage: 67.2
QB Rating: 72.5
Passer Rating vs MN: 116.0
Passer Rating last game (vs MN 12/30): 131.8
Fantasy Football Average: 20.6
Fantasy Football Total: 329

Christian Ponder
Passer Rating: 81.2
Yards: 2,935
Touchdowns:18
Completion Percentage: 62.1
QB Rating: 53.8
Passer Rating vs GB: 83.3
Passer Rating last game (vs GB 12/30): 83.3
Fantasy Football Average: 11.3
Fantasy Football Total: 180
 



Winner: Aaron Rodgers. Thus concludes the statistical analysis portion of my assessment.


Round 2: State Political Leadership
Minnesota: Minnesota gets a big head start in this category because the Democrats are really members of the Democratic Farm Labor Party (DFL), and that's throwing down old-school progressive style. The state's delegation in the US House includes Michele Bachmann, the bat-shit crazy Tea Party queen with whom I am a little obsessed. However, it also includes Keith Ellison who is pretty great, and there are more members from the DFL than Republicans. Senator Amy Klobuchar and Governor Mark Dayton are both good liberals albeit a bit bland. I've saved the best for last: SENATOR AL FRANKEN. He's a rock star.

Wisconsin: If there's any politician that I love to hate as much as Bachmann, it's Paul Ryan, the US House delegate from Wisconsin's 1st district--I have him to thank for much of the Schadenfreude I experienced after the 2012 election. Overall, the delegation is a bit more conservative than the purple state should have. By far the brightest spot in Wisconsin politics is Tammy Baldwin, the first openly LGBT person in the US Senate (fyi: I'd love her even if she weren't a lesbian because her politics are fabulous). Of course, low point of Wisconsin politics is Governor Scott Walker whose anti-labor policies are not only unconstitutional but also hypocritical. As if that weren't bad enough, Walker also wants to engage in voter suppression.

Winner: Minnesota. Sorry, Tammy.

Round 3: The Quarterback Redux. Who Is Hotter? My Completely Subjective Opinion 
Please keep in mind, in all discussions of male hotness, the question is not: Would I sleep with him? As my friend Betty likes to remind me, that's a very low bar. Athletes' and other celebrities' hotness must be judged against a higher standard.

Aaron Rodgers

Rodgers is definitely good-looking in that aw-shucks, guy-next-door way--what some friends and I like to call a CYD (Cute, Young Dad).

However, he sometimes takes a turn for the douche. Backwards baseball caps are never okay. Unfortunately, being a douche does not necessarily make a guy unattractive to me.

 Rodgers certainly does, as my mother would say, "clean up nice".

Dude, I know it's the off season and you're on vacation, but come on. You're a professional athlete, and you're shirtless pictures should be much better than this.

Christian Ponder

Ponder is okay, I guess, if you like that classically handsome, all-American type. Oh... wait... I love the classically handsome, all-American type.

Even when he has a sadz which--let's face it--given his tendency for turnovers is often, Ponder is still gorgeous. He broods good.

I'm afraid I must deduct a few points for looking like a complete dorkasaurus off the field. Then again, looking bad in a suit can be forgiven...

...because this is how an NFL quarterback should look without his shirt on.

Winner: Christian Ponder. Call me, maybe? Don't worry, this isn't a gay thing, it's a football thing.

Round 4: Team Ownership

The Minnesota Vikings are owned by a bunch of rich guys. While I love that he principal owner has the unlikely and fantastic name of Zygi Wilf, it's not at all cool that the owners are trying to fleece fans with seat fees to build their new stadium.

The Green Bay Packers are the only non-profit, community-owned major league professional sports team in the United States. Their annual shareholders meeting may be the best thing ever.

Stuff To Post

I keep a file on my laptop of "Stuff To Post" which contains (not surprisingly) pictures I may want to post on Facebook. As I was doing a little computer clean-up, I noticed the folder had lots of good stuff in it that I never shared. Now that I have this fabulous new blog, I thought I'd give some a second chance.

This is one of my favorite pictures ever. It's from the amazing 1955 MoMA exhibit, The Family Of Man. Does anyone have the book? If so, please put the quote that is under this picture in the comments. I know it's great, but I can't find it anywhere.

I think I was worried about offending some of my friends on Facebook with this picture. So, I decided to post it on my completely public blog instead.

ACT-UP & Occupy Wall Street Unite! I wanted to use this as a profile pic, but the proportions didn't work.

I tried to post this picture of the dreamy Minnesota Viking, Chris Kluwe, but I had technical difficulties. ICYMI: Kluwe wrote the best pro-gay-marriage letter ever.

Here's a seed art portrait of Michele Bachmann from the Minnesota State Fair.

It turns out I have collected a lot of pictures of Michele "Crazy Eyes" Bachmann and her husband, Marcus "Ladybird" Bachmann.