The Cult Of St. Francis

Cutest St. Francis of Assisi ever via 2 Little Hooligans

As I Tweeted, I was very excited when Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio chose the name Francis upon his election to pope.

You guys, I chose Francis for my confirmation name! The Holy Spirit has spoken. The #NewPope & I are totes going to be BFFs.
— Christopher J. Hogan (@Koko_Hogan) March 14, 2013

While I'm not so into the Catholic Church these days, I'm still a big fan of Saint Francis of Assisi. He's totally rad--literally, St Francis remains a radical figure in the church. While Francis of Assisi didn't write the prayer that bears his name, his inspiration is clearly in it. I'm not a prayin' man, but "The Prayer of Saint Francis" speaks to me as spiritual guide.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. 

If you are reading this blog, I assume you might recognize "The Prayer of Saint Francis" as sung by Sarah McLachlan in the "Grave" episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. 



St. Francis also inspired Seamus Heaney to write one of my favorite poems:

St. Francis And The Birds

When Francis preached love to the birds
They listened, fluttered, throttled up
Into the blue like a flock of words

Released for fun from his holy lips.
Then wheeled back, whirred about his head,
Pirouetted on brothers' capes.

Danced on the wing, for sheer joy played
And sang, like images took flight.
Which was the best poem Francis made,

His argument true, his tone light. 

--Seamus Heaney

Speaking of poems about saints, I have written many. Michael Bronski, Kate Clinton, Sandy Leonard and I had a writing group of sorts that would would email each other every day (this is the 90s when email was cutting-edge social media) sending limericks based on which saint's feast day it was. This was my October 4th entry.

There once was a monk from Assisi
Who wouldn't drink crème de cassis-i
With such a strict vow
If he were living right now
Would he be Edwin of Meese-y?

Hey, I just had a great idea: Pope Francis should make me the official Vatican limericist!

Welcome, Francis!

The election of the new pope is the perfect occasion to post this video--for a hundred reasons beyond the obvious Argentina connection.

PontifEX

Benedict XVI is clicking his Ruby Prada Slippers and leaving Oz.

I'm bummed that I was at work when I heard the news, and I couldn't get in on the ground floor of the the "Pope Pulls a Palin" line. In fact, I first learned the new via my friend's Tweet:

I hate missing the chance to make a crack about The Quitter, but by the joke had already exploded especially on Twitter, and I had nothing new to add.

Speaking of quitters, Benedict's abdication has brought the spotlight to Pope Celestine V for the first time in 719 years. Here's his story as told in wonderful book Saints Preserve Us!: Everything You Need To Know About Every Saint You'll Ever Need by Sean Kelly and Rosemary Rogers.

 

Pope Celestine V is one of my favorite pontiffs because his story is pretty cray-cray. (Harris and Rogers don't even go into the rumors that he was murdered by his successor). I have mixed feelings about all the attention he's getting now. It's sort of like when your favorite indie band makes it big--you're happy for their success, but you miss being one of the cool kids in the know. It turns out, Pope Benedict XVI has also been a big fan of Celestine V. Four years ago, Benedict visited Celestine's tomb and "after a brief prayer, he left his pallium, the symbol of his own episcopal authority as Bishop of Rome, on top of Celestine's tomb!" About a year later, Benedict visited the relics of Celestine and praised his "great courage". Coincidence? Maybe, or maybe we should have seen the scribens in pariete.

Celestine V as Snow White with his Prince Charming, Benedict XVI

Finally, as Pope Benedict XVI exits, I'm afraid we must sadly bid adieu to Archbishop Georg Gänswein, the Heartthrob of the Vatican and Vanity Fair cover boy.

I'm pretty sure Gorgeous Georg is the only Papal private secretary who will ever get pictures of him posted on the blog BADBOYS DELUXE: Ninja Alpha Males. Seriously, go check it out. Don't worry, it's not only "safe for work," it's safe for church.

Say what you will about Pope Benedict XVI, he did have very good taste in shoes and personal assistants. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

The Confessions Of St. Jodie

  
The Interwebs continue to be abuzz with thoughts on Jodie Foster's Golden Globes speech. One big question is whether or not she actually "came out". I don't think this was a true confession because it was not made properly. True confessions, like those of St. Augustine, must written in Latin. So, using Google Translate, I translated (a slightly edited version of) Jodie's speech into Latin--for those who can read Latin, that text is at the bottom of this post. Since most of us cannot read Latin, I then put translated the Latin text back into English. What follows is the result. I've highlighted the most enlightening passages for all our spiritual benefit.

The Confessions of St. Jodie

Thank you. It is well for all of you SNL fans, I'm 50! , ... You know that this work without the worship, as long as, or later. I'm 50! You know, I was going to bring my walker this night, but it just does not go with CLEAVAGE. Robert, I want to thank them all. For your bat-crazed brain rapid fire, the sweet inside. Gaius, I love you and I am so grateful that I said that I have always been done is to make them idle to talk with the honor of .... Welcome to me last night. Home is a great part of the year promises a queen of the night in my opinion.

The confession of the whole, therefore, I am here, I guess I just is to say that the air is never a surprise attack they were able to service of the state. Thus, the declaration ... I'm a little nervous about that, but maybe not quite as nervous as my publicist right now, huh Jennifer? Just now, I am not a lamb of god not to extinguish it by law? The great and proud, right? In this way, I'm need your support on this, lamb of god. I am ... celibate. Yes, I am, I am unmarried men. No, I'm kidding. But I really am kidding, but I am such a kidding. Many thanks for the enthusiasm. Wolf whistle or can take it? I hope you guys expecting to find a great night out of speaking, because I came a thousand years old, stone back. Bid it fragile time when the girl opened the door of a friend and the faith of the family, co-workers, and by degrees all that had known it boldly, even when it belongs to them all. But now, apparently, I'm told that every celebrity is expected to honor the details of private life, with a press conference, the scent, and the first time a reality show. You guys might be surprised, but I'm not Mel ROAR ROAR of the Child. Let me not be ashamed of, and it's just not to me has never been and never will be. But Do not cry, because it would not be the truth of a proposition, my loves. I would have to do with Marion Cotillard, I would like to spank Daniel Craig's farm, you know, just to stay on the air. But, nevertheless, will not be allowed an evil deed.

But seriously. From this it is if you were a toddler, you openly, if you'd felt to fight against the truths of life and was the only loves the honesty, the price to you, perhaps, most of all the lakes. Private. Sometimes they will be mindful of the future was a beautiful look. I have put everything there, from the time of three years. That's enough of a reality show, do not you think? There are a few secrets to keep your psyche intact for so long here. First: Love the people, and next to them in the morning .... My family and friends, here to night, and at home. And, indeed, Mel Gibson - you know, he was making.

The way I would be able to stand here without acknowledging the any one of the deepest loves of my life, heroic co-parent, my ex-partner in love, but in the life of a righteous soul sister. My confessor, ski Buddy, consigliere, most beloved bff of 20 years, Cydney Bernard. Thank you Cyd. I am proud of this amazing family, our children, Charlie and Kit, who are my reason to breathe, and to evolve, my blood and soul. The boys, if you do not know the song, just as all things, this is for you. ... You see, Charlie and Kit, sometimes your mom lose it too. To have the moony but that I can, you know. This has the beginning of the end of the time, and like each other. Exciting the SCARY, and now what? Well, I'm never going to be in this stage again. Some degree. Be changed, you've Gotti love it. Indeed, I always tell us how to move the men, led by fables: a work of a great man in the world. From the comment it is now, in another conversation used to hold the staff I can. And maybe it will not be just as sparkly. Maybe it will not open in the three thousand screens. Maybe it will be a quiet and delicate that only dogs can hear it hiss. But it will be the writing on the wall, where Jodie Foster, it is still to be seen, and I desire to be understood, and so it is not at all alone. View all camps. Our next year.

See? That makes much more sense. I totally agree with Mel Gibson and Opus Dei that Vatican II was a big mistake.

P.S. Here's text in Latin... well, Google Translate Latin: