Thank You #98

By now, everyone has heard that, in moving personal essay in Sports Illustrated, Jason Collins became the first male active player in a major team sport in the United States to come out as gay. That may seem like a lot of qualifiers, but this is a big fucking deal. Like most people, I had never heard of Jason Collins before today. In fact, I'm not sure I'd heard of the Washington Wizards, the NBA he played for last year. Seriously, while I've never been a fan of professional basketball, I do think I have fairly good general sports knowledge, but I don't think I could have told you what the name of the DC NBA team was yesterday. So, obviously take all my thoughts on this with a huge grain of salt, but I do have a few things to say.

First, it may sound odd, but I was really glad when I found out Jason Collins is black--but I was having trouble articulating (even just to myself) why. Fortunately, Rob Smith explains "Why the race of NBA’s first openly gay player matters just as much as his sexual orientation":

...The color of the face attached to the cover story of Sports Illustrated — and the photos that will be shown on ESPN and CNN and every major media news outlet in the world — isn’t just important, it’s revolutionary. I would argue that Collins’ coming out will do more to advance the LGBT conversation within the black community than even President Obama’s embrace of gay marriage. ...Now, when an 18-year-old black boy is thinking about coming out and looking for someone in the popular culture who looks like him — he’s certainly going to find him. Jason Collins may not have been around when I was 18. But that doesn’t diminish the pride I feel as a 30-year-old man watching him come out now, and I can only imagine how many people who look just like us are feeling the same thing.

Sadly, I was disappointed in ESPN for how it handled the story. First, the story was one of the lead stories on every newscast today (and not just the sports news, but the national news), but ESPN buried it. Then, this happened:

To be fair, ESPN has been pretty good on LGBT issues before (and even showed a pro-bowler kissing his partner after a big win), but this was just stupid of them. Fortunately, Jason Collins is not just a practicing Christian, but apparently a very well-read and smart one. If and when he wants, I'm sure he'll be able to rip bigots like Chris Broussard to shreds if they try to use the bible to condemn homosexuality.

Happily, Chris Broussard was one of the few haters out there today. Twitter was a real love fest for Collins--with everyone from Kobe Bryant to Michelle Obama to Neil Patrick Harris tweeting their support. I'm just pissed that the Boston Red Sox tweeted this:

We salute you, @jasoncollins34 for your courage and leadership. Any time you want to throw out a first pitch at Fenway Park, let us know.
— Boston Red Sox (@RedSox) April 29, 2013

How am I supposed to hate the Red Sox (as I do) if they keep being so good on LGBT issues?

More important that what the Twitterverse or sportscasters or anyone else thinks or says, I have been incredibly impressed by Jason Collins. Really, go read his coming out essay and also the excellent behind-the-scenes story by Sports Illustrated writer Jon Wertheim. It's impossible not to come away from them without agreeing with former NBA player and current gay, John Amaechi:

Congratulations to Jason - society couldn't hope for a more eloquent & positive role model: buff.ly/10OvOMd
— John Amaechi OBE (@JohnAmaechi) April 29, 2013

What really sealed the deal for me was I read this passage in Collins essay:

My one small gesture of solidarity was to wear jersey number 98 with the Celtics and then the Wizards. The number has great significance to the gay community. One of the most notorious antigay hate crimes occurred in 1998. Matthew Shepard, a University of Wyoming student, was kidnapped, tortured and lashed to a prairie fence. He died five days after he was finally found. That same year the Trevor Project was founded. This amazing organization provides crisis intervention and suicide prevention to kids struggling with their sexual identity. Trust me, I know that struggle. I've struggled with some insane logic. When I put on my jersey I was making a statement to myself, my family and my friends.

Matthew Shepard's parents are touched by Collins tribute to their son:

"It made me cry," Judy Shepard told FOXSports.com during an interview Monday afternoon. "It was really quite a tribute, and I was very honored. And I know Matt would be thrilled." And the Shepards hope, someday, to be able to thank Collins personally for his bravery in opening himself up to the world and honoring their son’s name in the process. "I would really love to speak to him, because I know Judy and I would just like to thank him," Dennis Shepard said. "Because, No. 1, he had the courage to come out, period, and No. 2 that he wore 98 in honor of Matt, the year that he died. ...[Collins] couldn’t have been that old (when it happened), so it must have had a tremendous impact on him, the story behind Matt, for him to want to do that. And then to wear it all this time without telling people why until today, that’s incredible."

So, Congratulations and Thank You, Jason Collins! I'm still not going to watch professional basketball, but if there's any other way that I could support you, please let me know.

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I have few things to add to my original post--specifically, an apology, a response to a legit criticism of the news and a new video.

An apology

I can't believe I didn't mention or link to Outsports in my original post. Cyd Zeigler and Jim Buzinski have created a blog that is indeed "the galactic leader in gay sports" news. Of course, they have lots of posts about the Collins story, including Zeigler's nice personal reflections:

...Mostly, I thought about the kids. I was one of those once. I grew up in a basketball household on a healthy diet of Celtics-Lakers championship series. My dad was a local hero, able to hit his elbow on the rim at a time when dunking was against the rules. I was supposed to follow in his footsteps, but on the first day of basketball tryouts in junior high school, I had an all-consuming feeling that I just didn't belong. There's no doubt in my mind that being gay, just struggling with my sexuality and being teased for it by the other boys, kept me off the basketball court. Like many LGBT youth, I opted for individual sports -- track & field and cross-country -- instead.

Thanks to Collins, the young ones in Pee-Wee football today won't know a world without an openly gay male pro athlete. The teens in youth basketball, just starting to understand their own sexuality, will forever have someone to look up to, someone who looks like them. The young gay men playing college baseball today got a shot in the arm: They now know the sports world is ready for them.

 Really, go read the whole thing.

A response to a legit criticism of the news

The title of Kate Sheppard's Mother Jones piece sums it up: "Jason Collins Is Not The First Out Gay Pro Athlete". As I said at the beginning of this post, telling Jason Collins story requires a lot of qualifiers. I went with the unwieldy "Jason Collins became the first male active player in a major team sport in the United States to come out as gay."--yikes, that's too much for a headline. Sheppard rightly points out that many women have come out during their careers, and that their have also been openly gay male athletes outside of "the big four" of the NFL, NBA, NHL and MLB. In particular, Martina Navratilova seems to have gotten lost in the shuffle. Thankfully, she is not shy about reminding the media that she came out as a lesbian at the height of her tennis career in 1981.

Well done Jason Collins- you are a brave man. And a big man at that:) 1981 was the year for me- 2013 is the year for you:)
— Martina Navratilova (@Martina) April 29, 2013

I think the criticism of the media is completely fair. Fortunately, today they are beginning to fill in the gaps. I hope the Jason Collins story spurs a discussion of not just homophobia but also larger gender issues in professional sports including the sexism of sports journalism. I also think it's important to note that Jason Collins has been very gracious in acknowledging everyone who came before him and made his announcement possible, saying simply, "The words thank you are not enough." Which lead me to...

A video...
...in which Jason Collins honors his hero Navratilova. He also speaks well on LGBT issues including his connection to the number 98 amazingly well for someone who a) just came out and b) is at the center of a media frenzy right now.

Well done, sir. Now, I will try to watch at least one of your games next year. NBA execs take note, Collins is a free agent and whichever team signs him will quickly expand their fan base--seriously, as a pure business decision, it makes sense. The gays are very brand loyal to LGBT friendly businesses.

Our Liberties We Prize & Our Rights We Will Maintain

Happy 4th Anniversary to Marriage Equality in Iowa!

Wild Roses, the Iowa state flower: and the perfect 4th anniversary gift.

On April 27th, 2009, my home state, Iowa, began issuing marriage licenses to same-sex couples. The Human Rights Campaign and One Iowa released this video to celebrate:

The thought behind the message is lovely; however, I'm a little surprised to find out any Iowans were involved the production. The place described seems to be a DC lobbyist's idea of a generic, Midwestern farm state. "The cows still get milked"? Seriously? Still, bless their hearts, they meant well and that's what counts.

Congratulations to the 6,000 same-sex couples who have married in Iowa in the last four years. The next step is getting your families to be recognized in all fifty states, and that day is coming. You know, "the arc of the moral universe..." and all.

You'll Reach Your Destiny

This is probably the second most adorable press conference I've ever seen:

Rob Tisinai at Box Turtle Bulletin expresses beautifully why I cried watching Edie Windsor speak today:

What moved me most was her description of how she’d been closeted for so many years, and how she was so grateful today for the kindness in how the Justices treated her.

She was grateful for their kindness.

Take a moment to realize that for most of her life, this kindness — this civility and dignity and respect — was something she and Thea had no reason to expect. It breaks my heart with regret at what these women had to live through, and it breaks my heart with joy that this heroine has never let it overcome her. Edie Windsor has overcome, no matter what the Court decides.

Edie Windsor & Thea Spyer

I made a (probably completely illegal, copyright-breaking) video two years ago celebrating the arrival of Marriage Equality in New York. I'm posting it again today in honor of Edie Windsor and all the other LGBT people who have found a path from tears and sorrow to love and dignity.

THANK YOU!

Saints Sergius & Bacchus Didn't Have Cellphones

Justice Samuel Alito said this today during the oral arguments in Hollingsworth v. Perry today:

Traditional marriage has been around for thousands of years. Same-sex marriage is very new. I think it was first adopted in the Netherlands in 2000. So there isn't a lot of data about its effect. And it may turn out to be a — a good thing; it may turn out not to be a good thing, as the supporters of Proposition 8 apparently believe. But you want us to step in and render a decision based on an assessment of the effects of this institution which is newer than cellphones or the Internet? I mean, we — we are not — we do not have the ability to see the future.

 Um.... WRONG.

Marriage Equality was part of the LGBT rights movement long before cellphones.
This happened in 1971:

Less than two years after the Stonewall uprising, a group of men and women from the Gay Activists Alliance (GAA) walked into the New York City Marriage License Bureau carrying coffee urns and boxes of cake to hold an engagement party for two male couples and to protest the "slander" of City Clerk Herman Katz, who had threatened legal action against same-sex "holy unions" being performed -- yes, already then, in 1971 -- by the Church of the Beloved Disciple, which had a largely gay congregation.

The best part? Someone filmed it!



Read the whole story and see the other videos at The Atlantic, "The Prehistory of Gay Marriage: Watch a 1971 Protest at NYC's Marriage License Bureau".

Same-sex unions have been around for thousands of years--long, long before the Internet.
This is hardly news. John Boswell's Same-Sex Unions in Pre-Modern Europe was published 18 years ago. "Hell, between the 10th and 12th centuries, Christian churches had little problem performing same sex marriage" ceremonies.

Sergius and Bacchus: Patrons Saints of Gay Marriage?

Even if same-sex marriage were brand new, that would have no impact on whether or not it is a right under the United States Constitution. I'll let Thomas Jefferson make the final argument in regards to Alito's misguided (to put it kindly) comments on the "newness" of same-sex marriage:

I am certainly not an advocate for frequent and untried changes in laws and constitutions. I think moderate imperfections had better be borne with; because, when once known, we accommodate ourselves to them, and find practical means of correcting their ill effects. But I know also, that laws and institutions must go hand in hand with the progress of the human mind. As that becomes more developed, more enlightened, as new discoveries are made, new truths disclosed, and manners and opinions change with the change of circumstances, institutions must advance also, and keep pace with the times. We might as well require a man to wear still the coat which fitted him when a boy, as civilized society to remain ever under the regimen of their barbarous ancestors.

So... Bite me, Alito.

70 Years of "Progress"

I came across two interesting posts about gays in the military today. First, at The Dish, Andrew Sullivan quoted an amazing love letter written by one soldier to another celebrating the anniversary of their meeting in 1943 during World War II:

Two lieutenants who were smart enough to know the score, but not smart enough to realize that we wanted to be alone. A screwball piano player — competition — miserable days and lonely nights. The cold, windy night we crawled through the window of a GI theatre and fell asleep on a cot backstage, locked in each other’s arms — the shock when we awoke and realized that miraculously we hadn't been discovered. A fast drive to a cliff above the sea — pictures taken, and a stop amid the purple grapes and cool leaves of a vineyard.

Do yourself a favor and read the whole thing on the wonderful blog Letters of Note.

Just a few minutes later, I was reading Dan Savage on Slog and saw that he had posted a video by boyfriends who are both Marines in which they talk about how they met, their families, etc. It's very sweet, but too long (over 16 minutes). You can go watch the whole thing, or just watch this equally sweet but much shorter video by the same couple:


Sullivan and Savage have almost exactly the same reaction.

Andrew: "There are times when I cannot truly comprehend the change my generation has lived through."

Dan: "Everyone once in a while you have to pause to marvel at the progress we've made in the last few years."

As a gay man of the same generation as Sullivan and Savage, I'm also amazed by how far we have come in our lifetimes and very proud of what we have achieved. Still, part of me does have to admit that the closet produced much better art. Just read that letter again. It is beautiful--really a prose poem about the joy of love even if secret and the misery of separation. Seventy years later, two out proud young men, bless their hearts, can't even make a decent "Let's Have A Kiki" video. Oh god, I'm going straight to gay hell for even thinking such things much less blogging them.

Land Of Lincoln & Speed

The home state of the Great Emancipator (and possible "friend of Whitman") took a big step for freedom yesterday. The Illinois State Senate approved Marriage Equality legislation with a 34 to 21 vote. Several lawmakers delivered moving words in support of the right to marry on, appropriately, Valentine's Day.

Big thanks to State Senator Daniel Biss for honoring Illinois progressive tradition with shout outs to Jane Addams, Richard Wright, Studs Terkel and Aaron Swartz. I'd like to add one more Illinian? Illinoisan? (there really is no good demonym, is there?) to the list: the great liberal champion Adlai Stevenson.



As the fight for Marriage Equality moves forward remember, in the words of Adlai Stevenson: What counts now is not just what we are against, but what we are for. Who leads us is less important than what leads us — what convictions, what courage, what faith — win or lose.

I Call Bullshit On Downton Abbey

Okay, I guess I'm supposed to warn you that this post contains a spoiler, so stop reading if you haven't already seen episode 6 of season 3 of Downton Abbey.

There's been plenty of discussion on the Interwebs about the historical (in)accuracy of