Replicas

One of the few celebrities I've ever been told I look like is Gary Numan. I don't really see it now... or then.

Although to be fair, for large stretches of his career, it's hard to know exactly what Gary Numan looked like.

I must say that I have I have always admired his commitment to whatever look he wears.

Plus, it may be breaking the 10th Commandment, but I covet this jacket:

Oh, by the way, I just thought of Gary Numan for the the first time is years tonight because I just saw his amazing collaboration with Nine Inch Nails in the remake of his biggest hit "Cars". Okay, it happened four years ago, but it's hard to keep up with the music the young kids are listening to these days.

PS to 2009 Trent Reznor: Call me, maybe?

Seriously?

If I have to blog about how sometimes it snows in April one more time, heads will roll. Heads. Will. Roll. I just couldn't post the Prince song again. Fortunately, these cute buskers provided their original song of the same name for me to share.

Unfortunately, the "Gaiety Theatre" in this video is not the sadly lost Times Square male burlesque venue (made famous in Madonna's book Sex). Sigh...

In A World Made Of Steel, Made Of Stone

30 years ago, on April 15th 1983, the world was introduced to the greatest movie ever made about a welder/stripper, Flashdance. Jennifer Beals is an... um... interesting choice for the lead because you would think that in a movie about a dancer they might cast someone who could--oh, I don't know--dance. Really, the use of body doubles is ridiculously obvious.



Unfortunately, for Beals the scenes she's actually in are equally ridiculous. Her performance is a bit stilted, but to be fair, I blame the terrible dialogue rather than her acting skills. She did, however, get to display her excellent bra removing skills.



Then again, who am I to judge? The producers have 92,921,203 reasons to think they made a good movie. Plus, everyone--myself included--took scissors to their sweatshirts after seeing Flashdance so they too could have the hip, boho Pittsburgh steel mill style.

"He was on his way home from Candletop..."

 
Forty years ago today, "The Night The Lights Went Out In Georgia" by Vicki Lawrence was the #1 single in the U.S.A.



I do love a country song with an insane story. A few other points...

1. In the 70's, Vicki Lawrence was a big star.

2. The big mystery of the song is what Andy's last name is. In the video above it's "Wollo" but looking at various lyrics websites it could be Woloe (close), Wo-Lo (a hyphenate seems highly unlikely in Georgia in early 70's--and one of two Asian names seems almost impossible), or "Warlord" (which would be a bit much).

3. Since the song is in colloquial dialogue it's perfectly acceptable that the lyric is: "That's the night that they hung an innocent man," instead of "That's the night that they hanged an innocent man," which would be more grammatically correct. Here's my rule of thumb to remember which to use: All inanimate objects are hung; when talking about people, unlucky men are hanged but lucky men are hung.

We'll See You At The Movies

It's wonderful that the man who wrote this:

“Kindness” covers all of my political beliefs. No need to spell them out. I believe that if, at the end, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn’t always know this and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.

 Also wrote this:


And this:

[Deuce Bigalow] makes a living prostituting himself. How much he charges I'm not sure, but the price is worth it if it keeps him off the streets and out of another movie. Deuce Bigalow is aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience. The best thing about it is that it runs for only 75 minutes.... Speaking in my official capacity as a Pulitzer Prize winner, Mr. Schneider, your movie sucks.

Thank you, Roger Ebert. You will be missed.

Kiki Loves You Baby Jesus

Celebrate Easter weekend with Kiki & Herb as they honor show business martyrs the Singing Nun, Marelene Dietrich, and, of course, the J.C. Superstar.

Disclaimer: I made this video a couple of years ago but I hold no copyright to any of the material. I'm pretty sure it's completely illegal. Oops.

Welcome Home, Boys

40 years ago, on March 29th, 1973, the last American combat troops left Vietnam.

The American flag is furled at a ceremony marking official deactivation of the
Military Assistance Command-Vietnam (MACV) in Saigon,
after more than 11 years in South Vietnam.

Watching the troops come home is the first news I remember watching on TV. In my memory--which is admittedly a bit hazy here--it's just my mother and I watching (was it during the day so Dad was at work and the other kids were at school?) and Mom is crying tears that are a mix of joy, regret, relief, sorrow and vindication. Of course, at age five, I didn't understand the complexities of the Vietnam War, but I knew it was bad and that we were happy to see the troops come home.

It's no coincidence that "Tie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree" by Dawn featuring Tony Orlando (not Tony Orlando & Dawn as is commonly thought) was the best selling single of 1973.

Holy Days

    פסח טוב

 It's time for one of my favorite things on the Internet, "peeps for passover".

צפרדעים

Do yourself a favor and CLICK HERE to check out all ten plagues re-enacted by Peeps.

Blessed Holy Week

This is also the week to enjoy the greatest rock opera of all time, Jesus Christ Superstar.

  

You can watch the whole fabulous 1973 movie online (probably completely illegally). I also highly recommend checking out some of the clips of the lesser known 2000 version of Jesus Christ Superstar. It is, as you can see, way over the top.

And don't even get me started on Godspell....

Compliments of Great Lakes Feed & Grain

In the context of discussing a possible trip to the Quad Cities, a friend suggested we enjoy one of the major attractions there.



Fred Garvin, Male Prostitute reminded me of two things:

1. The original Saturday Night Live Not Ready for Prime Time Players had a real Midwestern sensibility to their humor--which makes sense given their backgrounds.

2. I have more than a few times been told I look like "a young Dan Aykroyd". You be the judge:

Young Dan Aykroyd

Me

Dan, if you ever need someone to play you in a flashback scene, call me.

My Two Favorite Videos Of The Week

One is satire and the other is (sadly) reality.

1. Tina Fey revives her Sarah Palin impression for Inside The Actors Studio:

2. Michele Bachmann literally runs from CNN reporter, Dana Bash:

While I hope Sarah Palin never again holds public office and Michele Bachmann gets voted out in 2014, Is it wrong that I really want the two of them stay in the public eye for years?

Et Tu, Donnie?

So, some of the Osmond family have coordinated with the National Organization for Marriage [sic] and are hosting a big anti-gay shindig.

This is all planned to put pressure on the Supreme Court as they are hearing two landmark cases on Marriage Equality. Of course, the Osmonds are Mormons, so I would expect them to be marching in LGBT Pride parades. However, even the Church of Latter Day Saints is evolving on the issue. As Good As You points out:

As you might know, Marie Osmond has a lesbian daughter. But I guess "My gay niece doesn't deserve equal rights" wasn't as catchy of a subtitle.

Also, anyone who wore this on stage:

...or did this on national television:

...should not be judging the gays. Let's face it, they make The Village People look butch.

PS: In the 70's, Flip Wilson had a variety show. I would so watch the shit out of that today if it were on instead of the Real Housewives of Anywhere.

UPDATE: Not all Osmonds think a like. Marie Osmond took a stand for her lesbian daughter and Marriage Equality.

If love was a train but love ain't a train

The L&N don't stop here any more, but apparently it does stop in Crazy Town. Michelle Shocked went on a homophobic rant during her concert in San Francisco last night. I highly recommend Chris Willman's very fair account of the event on the Stop The Presses! music blog.

...After an intermission, Shocked hadn't even gotten to any music when she started talking first about the importance of social media to carry on a dialogue with her fans off-stage, and then about Proposition 8. She started reading some tweets from the stream and having a dialogue about people's impressions, talking about how she was feeling brave at this point and that she was doing the right thing. Then the tone of the conversation became extremely religious and she began talking about the two things most important to her being Jesus Christ and freedom. Then she talked about how she had just come from a prayer meeting the night before, and the people in her prayer meeting were really worried because these are the end times, and they’re the end times because Prop. 8 is going to lead to ministers marrying gay people with a rifle to the head. At which people got a little riled up; then there started to be some call and response from the crowd about what she meant. She started exhorting the crowd very specifically to go ahead and tweet or write and say that Michelle Shocked says God hates f--s, and some other references to the Bible denouncing homosexuality as sinful and abhorrent.

Read the whole thing here.

As you can imagine the blogs--especially the LGBT ones--are all over this.

The Bay Area Reporter had a reporter at the concert:

After the performance Shocked was off the stage and talking with three fans. The B.A.R. asked her to clarify her comments. She seemed interested but a reporter heard one of her fans tell her, "It's a gay paper." Shocked again said, "God bless us everyone." She thanked her fans, began sobbing, and ran from the stage.

 Joe.My.God points out why so many people are so surprised:

The music press has often identified Shocked as lesbian herself, mistakenly it now appears, unless she's gone "ex-gay." Last night her Wikipedia page was changed to read "Michelle Shocked (born Karen Michelle Johnston, February 24, 1962) is a BIGOTED lesbian singer/songwriter." That notation has since been removed.

Queerty also provides a little Shocked's history with gay issues:

“I am a believer. I am a devout practicing Christian,” she told Edge on the Net in 2008. “I don’t like the ring of that because I know so many people who profess the faith, and I look at their social conscious, and I can’t see how they reconcile their faith with their politics.” In that same 2008 interview she confessed to some “inconvenient truths,” like how the Bible teaches homosexuality is immoral. “But homosexuality is no more less a sin than fornication,” she said. “And I’m a fornicator with a capital F.” That’s not the F-word we’re concerned with, Michelle.

I think Jezebel summed up many people's reaction:

Beyond the fact that WHAT THE FUCK, MICHELLE, I honestly just don't understand how human beings can justify wasting their time on shit like "who that dude from spin class wants to marry." And I certainly don't understand how anyone with basic critical thinking skills can characterize those views—that one person wanting to make out with another person has some grave, cosmic, supernatural consequence for the universe—as ANYTHING but mindless-indoctrination-bordering-on-brainwashing. There is no logic here. Even Biblical scholars will tell you that there is no logic here.

Me, I'm mostly just sad. Short, Sharp, Shocked was part of the sound track of my college years. I listened to it pretty much non-stop when it first came out, and it's an album that I often go back to. I really love it.



It feels like I lost touch with a dear college friend only to find out they had joined a cult because, well, that's pretty much what has happened. Thank God I can still count on Tracy Chapman for my leftist, feminist folk music fix.

UPDATE 1: There are rumors and speculation about Michelle Shocked has a history of mental illness, and if that is the case, as seems very likely, I hope she finds a path to wellness and love. Any anger I have is for the homophobic church leaders that got their claws into a vulnerable person and twisted her up to use her as a mouthpiece for their bigotry.

UPDATE 2:  Janis Ian speaks out:

It is sad when a talented person chooses to use that talent in the service of their own misplaced rage, and their disappointment in their own life. I often wonder if people like this die and meet God, who will smack them upside the head and say 'Did I really LOOK like I needed your help?!

It looks like Michelle Shocked will have time to battle whatever demons are chasing her. Not surprisingly, venues are now cancelling Michelle Shocked's shows.

Ambiguously Gay Dads

Is it just me, or are there a lot of possibly gay dads in commercials these days?

Exhibit A: Volkswagen Passat, Toss

Although the term "throwing like a girl" isn't officially slang for gay, it might as well be.

Exhibit B: Tide & Downy, The Princess Dress

As Jezebel pointed out: "When Stereotypical American Clown Father appears in a commercial for some housekeeping chemical, it's usually to demonstrate his utter incompetence (dads don't clean, silly! they spill rib juice all over the couch as they slip into a meat stupor over the course of a lazy Sunday afternoon) and promptly exit stage right, a freshly chastised goon." So it is great to see a dad who is not just a competent parent and housekeeper but also one who loves playing with his daughter. Maybe it's the fact that he embraces both the sheriff and princess roles his daughter plays that makes seem possibly be a little bit cowboy and a little bit queen himself.

Exhibit C: Subaru, Cut The Cord

This is the least obvious. There are no specific gay signifiers in the commercial. Still... Well, it pings my gaydar.

Am I reading too much into these? Am I just so used to seeing the TV trope of the heterosexual fathers being bumbling idiots that if a father shows a modicum of competence, I think he must be gay? That would be a sad statement. Maybe it's the absence of wives/mothers in the commercials that raises makes me look twice at them; however, there are like a million commercials of moms and there kids with no dad in the immediate picture, and I don't read them as lesbians. Perhaps the fact that same-sex couples raising children have been so much in the news because of the recent advances in Marriage Equality that I'm beginning to see them in the broader culture.

Finally, I'd just like to say to each of these three dads: If you're single and looking for a co-parent for your adorable child, call me, maybe?

The Cult Of St. Francis

Cutest St. Francis of Assisi ever via 2 Little Hooligans

As I Tweeted, I was very excited when Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio chose the name Francis upon his election to pope.

You guys, I chose Francis for my confirmation name! The Holy Spirit has spoken. The #NewPope & I are totes going to be BFFs.
— Christopher J. Hogan (@Koko_Hogan) March 14, 2013

While I'm not so into the Catholic Church these days, I'm still a big fan of Saint Francis of Assisi. He's totally rad--literally, St Francis remains a radical figure in the church. While Francis of Assisi didn't write the prayer that bears his name, his inspiration is clearly in it. I'm not a prayin' man, but "The Prayer of Saint Francis" speaks to me as spiritual guide.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace,

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

Where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master,

grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;

to be understood, as to understand;

to be loved, as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive.

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,

and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life. 

If you are reading this blog, I assume you might recognize "The Prayer of Saint Francis" as sung by Sarah McLachlan in the "Grave" episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer. 



St. Francis also inspired Seamus Heaney to write one of my favorite poems:

St. Francis And The Birds

When Francis preached love to the birds
They listened, fluttered, throttled up
Into the blue like a flock of words

Released for fun from his holy lips.
Then wheeled back, whirred about his head,
Pirouetted on brothers' capes.

Danced on the wing, for sheer joy played
And sang, like images took flight.
Which was the best poem Francis made,

His argument true, his tone light. 

--Seamus Heaney

Speaking of poems about saints, I have written many. Michael Bronski, Kate Clinton, Sandy Leonard and I had a writing group of sorts that would would email each other every day (this is the 90s when email was cutting-edge social media) sending limericks based on which saint's feast day it was. This was my October 4th entry.

There once was a monk from Assisi
Who wouldn't drink crème de cassis-i
With such a strict vow
If he were living right now
Would he be Edwin of Meese-y?

Hey, I just had a great idea: Pope Francis should make me the official Vatican limericist!

At Least I Know Who Judy Collins Is

Long story short: It came up in Facebook conversation today that a friend didn't know who Judy Collins is. I said:

"A good rule of thumb: Every guest host of The (original) Muppet Show should be at least vaguely familiar to people of our generation. Judy Collins totally hosted and sang 'Send In The Clowns' with a Muppet circus in the background."

  
I had a really strong memory of that number, but it turns out my memory was somewhat wrong. I remembered the circus performers as puppets, and I thought there were more circus acts. In particular, I was sure there was a high-wire performer. It turns out, there are only clowns and they are some of the least puppety Muppets ever. They are really dancers/acrobats/mimes in masks.

I was confusing this number with Melissa Manchester singing "Don't Cry Out Loud" on The Muppet Show which features the same (kind of creepy, to be honest) clowns, but also has the puppet on the tightrope that I distinctly remembered being in the Judy Collins number.

I can't believe my memory is failing me like this. It's a slippery slope from confusing Judy Collins' and Melissa Manchester's Muppet Show appearances to no longer recognizing family members.

The Ur-Hedwig

Andrea True should have sued John Cameron Mitchell for stealing her look.

 Also, has any other porn star adult film actress charted in the top ten of Billboard's Hot 100?

R.I.P. Bonnie Franklin

I grew up loving One Day At A Time, but I'd like to remind everyone that Bonnie Franklin was a big deal Broadway actress before she went to TV.

I hope they drink a toast to her at Musical Mondays at SPLASH this week.

Bieber Fever?

When Tom & Lorenzo posted this picture of Justin Bieber on their Facebook page tonight, Lorenzo wrote, "I get it, but WTH?"

The comments could be summed up by saying; We don't get it. I have to agree that I cannot understand how anyone could think this was an acceptable thing to wear in public, but I chalked it up to the fact that I'm becoming an old geezer. Then, I saw this:

This Biebs outfit caused writer producer Damon Lindelof (of Lost fame) to go off on a Twitter rant. The rest of the Internet reaction could be summed up in one word: Douche. To me, the outfit seemed less douchey than an indication of a bizarre lack of awareness of, well... any form of reality.

Next, I discovered this is how J.B. went shopping in London:

  

This got people saying the Biebernator was an attention whore.

No one seems to be asking the obvious question: Is Justin Bieber going crazy? I'm seriously talking about actual, DSM IV listed mental illness here. His public appearance and behavior seems like the early stages of celebrity insanity that, if not checked in time, could reach Micheal Jackson levels. If anyone who knows Justin reads this, I urge you for his sanity and for the sake of his fans, please hold an intervention now.

UPDATE: Dlisted has more pics of a clearly fucked up Bieber on his 19th birthday with his body guard trying to shield him from the Paparazzi.  

 

Here's an idea for avoiding bad publicity: don't get drunk and/or high as a kite and then run around half-naked in public. More evidence of the cray-cray. Pulling a Wacko Jacko may be the best case scenario. Beiber may be headed towards a full-on Lohan. Someone please stop Justin before he ends up on Celebrity Rehab.

Hooray for Women's Lib!

Is it wrong that watching the wonderful PBS documentary about feminism MAKERS: Women Who Make America made me think of Wonder Woman?

Is it wrong that Wonder Woman made me think of Lyle Wagonner's spread in Playgirl?

Well, if loving Wonder Woman and Lyle Wagonner is wrong, I don't wanna be right.

Oscars: Not Gay Enough

Host Seth MacFarlane was concerned this year's Oscars weren't gay enough. Here's five ways they could have gayed it up more.

1. The performance by Seth MacFarlane, Daniel Radcliffe and Joseph Gordon-Levitt was a good start to the show, but it a song and dance number isn't the kind of threesome the gays want from them.

 2 .Having Dame Shirley Bassey sing is pretty gay, but it would have been gayer if she sang this:

3. The gays love Channing Tatum, so having him dance on the Oscars was good; however him stripping would have been much better:

4. If you're going to put Captain Kirk in a time machine to right an Academy Awards wrong, send him to 2006 to take the Oscar away from the loathsome Crash and give it to the actual best picture of that year, Brokeback Mountain.

5. If you're going to have Kristin Chenoweth sing to losers, any gay would know to have her sing this song:

Next year, the Oscars producers should call me before the show, and I'll help them reach that gay audience that has been so elusive to them.

PS: In the future, some gays, I nominate Tom & Lorenzo, should be posted so they can run up and slap any winners who walk on stage looking like this:

Quentin Tarantino, I don't care how cool you think you are--you should have your Oscar taken away from your for crimes against fashion.