You are a country music legend.
You proved you can be super girlie and still be smart, strong and independent.
While you're not a lesbian and you somehow lost a Dolly Parton look-alike drag queen contest, you are still an inspiration to gay boys everywhere.
Of course, "I Will Always Love You" gets all the attention (and made you filthy rich), but so many of the 3,000(!) songs you've written are fabulous. This one is my favorite--
